“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
A quote by Leonard Cohen that I’ve seen floating around on Facebook recently. One that made me pause.
How true it is that when the going gets tough, we often find ourselves at the Y in the road. When we get angry, hurt, sad, stuck…maybe veering left. Or when we seek something greater than us and grow, veering right. Toward the light. I’ve traveled on both roads. In fact, I’ve weaved in and out of both roads, especially over the past three years.
Three years ago, we learned about a genetic mutation I carry that may cause tumors of just about any kind in my body. Then we learned that two out of our three children carry this same mutation. Within a month after this, we learned that our daughter (who carries the mutated gene) was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor that ultimately took her life almost two years later at the age of five. During those two years of battle, I was diagnosed with two different cancers.
Yet here I am. Having gone through the biggest storm of my life.
I had cracks. So many that it felt like an earthquake had struck. Our ground had shifted. And the cracks were deep.
Looking back on those years and all of the turmoil that had hit our family, I now see that the light was still peeking through. It certainly didn’t feel that way at the time. Now I see it. I see the growth. I see the love. I see that through our most trying time ever in our lives, how the light shone through. This light was something spiritual that I had no knowledge of most of the time. It was simply happening. And when I tuned in…when I came out of the fog…I understood a little more about my spiritual journey with every day that greeted me. And it was all unfolding right before my eyes.
I recently finished the amazing book The Universe Has Your Back. I often read just before falling asleep, and I found myself not wanting this particular one to end. And there it was in her final chapter. Gabrielle Bernstein writes, “Be the light.”
In a world where the ripple can so easily be full of fear, of cracks, let us not only let the light in, but also BE the light. Let us BE the joy. Let us BE the difference. Light supersedes all darkness, so let’s create the ripple of only light. Of only love.
For maybe life isn’t about the end result or how long our journey is, but instead about how we got there. The paths we chose. The way we navigated. The spirit we held through the good times, and especially through our most trying times. And the way we stood in the light when we found ourselves with those deep cracks in our foundation.
When we get to the Y in the road, we can veer left and fight hard against the wind. Or we can veer right …and surrender. Finding a new way. With ease. As best we can. To weave back into the side of the Y that allows the light in. Even when it’s the hard thing. Even when we’re in the midst of our pain. This is when much growth occurs. Even when we don’t understand the “why”. To trust that this is simply the human experience of our soul’s journey.
These three years have not been easy. Yet I am grateful to have experienced deep sorrow…for now I understand pure joy.